Creativity Killed the Cat

I am becoming more and more convinced that creativity is God's favorite thing about us.  There are several reasons I think this:

1. He is creative, and I'm pretty sure its His favorite pastime.
2. We are created and His favorite of all He created, born out of His relishing in His favorite pastime.
3. All of our creative energy is wasted on trying to not be creative.

In my understanding, if there is a behavior which seems natural to humanity, it is usually the opposite to which we were designed to be inclined.  We spend most of our time either trying to be something we're not or trying to be nothing at all.  We don't spend a whole lot of time just being.

And we would discover if we did that what we are is creative above all else, living suffocated and stifled if we are anything but.

What is it exactly that we are so afraid of?  What is so terrifying about being yourself?  Why do we rob the world of our thoughts, ideas, inventions, passions, dreams?

There is too much inside of me to let it sit there any longer.  I don't care how terrifying it is.  I'm reaching inside, and whatever I find is what You're getting.

Self-Preservation: A Learned Habit for the Cross-Wired Homosapien

I'm the worst blogger EVER.

This was supposed to be something I picked up again to be an outlet for myself, and obviously, we see how well that has worked out.

This fact brings me to a thought: exactly where am I letting-out if not here?

The irony of life as I find it is that the moments you need something the most are also the moments you seem to find the fewest moments for those things.  Self-preservation is a natural human instinct and tendency, but somewhere along the way, I'm pretty sure my wires got crossed.  I forget that the best way of preserving myself (and thus, those around me from the wrath of who I am when I haven't self-preserved) is to take a few moments to quiet my mind, get with my Jesus, and remind myself that life is not complicated as much as it is wonderful and beautiful and excellent and exciting and satisfying.

Whenever I work with musicians, I always start with this:
"Stick to the KISS principal.  Less is more.  So give me more by giving me less."

It's a wonderful concept, lofty in its idealism.  And in the area of music, it works almost every single time.

Over the last 2 years, the Lord has had me on a journey specifically to teach me to adhere closely to my own lofty idealisms in every area of my life.  My life is more simple than it has ever been, and truly, I hardly know what to do with myself.  I fight Him tooth and nail in these matters because for the majority of my life, my identity has been in my busyness, lost somewhere in the swirling mess of sincerely-motivated endeavors gone awry.

Who am I apart from what I do?

I hate to say that I've lost myself in it because I swore to myself that I never would but...

I've lost myself in it.

The beauty of my Jesus and of this life He has graced me with is that He never lets me stay lost for long.

He makes me lie down in green pastures, He leads me beside quiet waters,

He restores my soul.

He preserves me when I cannot find a way to do it myself.