bucking father time

i am bound to time.

i feel it dragging me along with every breath, blink, heartbeat. this creates a certain irritation in my spirit, for my spirit is not bound to time. it is eternal as the God who created it in His very image. it is, however, for now contained within this hollow shell that is a slave to time, ticking away and trudging along.

i realize that i would not irritate me so if my spirit - YOUR Spirit in me - were truly the master of my life. so much of my focus is still fixed on the physical, and therefore, time frustrates and grates on me. it is shamelessly reminding me of its short supply.

You are not bound by time.

my spirit lives luxuriously as You do, created on purpose in Your gloriously unbound image. You live in me, as well, choosing to also be bound within this fragmented and fragile encasing of flesh. we are two persons unbound by time, dwelling in a too-small frame addicted to the very thought of time, bowing and bending under its weight.

help me to see as You see and as my spirit sees. i want to hear Your voice and the voice of Your Spirit more clearly than the obnoxious ticking hands of time.

to live unbound. to live freely.

daughter of eve

the best part of my day is getting home and releasing my body from the prison of its clothes.
no contest.

You cannot deny Yourself

whether or not i've done all the things i'm supposed to do and whether or not i've done all the things i'm not supposed to do,

You are faithful.

i abandon myself then to Your faithfulness.
i accept Your ridiculous grace, Your ludicrous love, Your merciful insanity.

You make absolutely no sense to me at all,
but i know i need You.
just as i always have.
just as i always will.

wordlessly thankful

You never cease to amaze me.

where am i ever going to find enough words in any language ever spoken aloud on this planet to thank You for all You're doing for me?

Lord of the dance

when the Lord waits on us, He's dancing all the while.

He waits on us in our selfishness, in our stubbornness, in our fear, and in our indifference with a dance.

He waits on us with joy, with anticipation.

if the Lord celebrates the waiting with a song and a dance, why can't we?

forgive us, Lord, for our hypocrisy. we gripe at You every time we have to wait for an answer, never thinking for a second about the times we've put You off with our various self-addictions.

teach us to be like You.
teach us to dance.

the opposite of control is trust

things are never what they seem.
so stop trying to guess.

legacy

human beings seem to have this uncanny knack for never taking things seriously enough. if we ever do find it in ourselves to take anything seriously, we usually become preoccupied with things that, in the end, will mean nothing to us, to our immediate loved ones, or to humanity in general.

if i am to walk this earth, i will walk it to change it by just being here. if i am to breathe this air, i will exhale excellence and truth. if i am to eat and drink, i will share my meals with the unwanted and toast my drinks with those less fortunate than myself.

i want my life to mean something. and not just anything.

just anything is not good enough for me.

i want it to mean something very specific. when people hear my name or my story, i want it to leave a legacy of my complete and total worthlessness without You. and of my ability to leave a signature on humanity and on history because i allowed You to carve Your signature into me.

mark Your mercy on my unfaithfulness.
whittle Your wisdom out of my foolishness.
sign Your very Self as an approval of my life, despite my weaknesses.

i will not leave this planet without first showing You off in the way only You deserve.