Discovering how truly far-reaching Your grace is has been one of the most humbling experiences of my life, humiliating to my flesh and bone in every way possible. Why do I so despise myself for needing You so badly? Don't we all? Even those who don't know it? As in no other situation, I am no where near being alone in this one thing.
Why, then, is it my core frustration?
For all the love and adoration I have for You, I have that much more self-loathing for being so totally incapable apart from You. But the truth is, like with most things, that what I feel is the exact opposite of what is actually true. My greatest joy in life is my total incapability of functioning apart from You. We are intertwined, involved and complicated, mysterious and beautiful and frightening in how unlikely and yet totally perfect we look together.
I love you more than I can bear at times. For as long as I breathe in this world and into the next, I am Yours. Thank you for Your patience with my ignorant and childish ways. I hope and pray and yet also know unswervingly that neither my ignorance nor my immaturity weary You.
For indeed, nothing does, least of all me.
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