Soul Searching and Writer's Block

Journaling has been one of the main staples of my need to be heard for as long as I can remember.  When I actually have a bookshelf in my new apartment, then I can invite you over to see that there would be as many journals lining the shelves as there are books.  Now, before you are disgusted with my narcissism, I wouldn't actually put my personal journals on a bookshelf.  That's just weird.  I simply needed something to prove my point about how important journaling has been to me in the past.

That horrible, horrible attempt at imagery brings me to my next point -

I've stopped writing.  (Obviously.)

I noticed this about 3 weeks ago, when I sat down to write in my journal and it was the same one I'd had for a long, long time.  In the past, it seemed that every time I sat down to write, it was in a new journal.  My thoughts were so many and so constant that the pages could barely keep up with what I was scribbling down.  Until the last few years, nearly every day of my adolescent and adult life has been recorded.

I went to the Lord immediately upon this realization.

"Jesus?"

"Yes, Sara.  What is it?"

"Why don't I write anymore?"

And He answered me the way He usually does when I ask questions to which I already know the answer.

"Why don't you tell me, daughter?"

This answer annoys me, which the Lord most certainly knows, and most certainly does not pay one bit of attention to either way.  Which annoys me more.

This question annoys me because it  forces me to evaluate where I'm at in life.  I mean, who actually enjoys soul-searching?

It is, however, a necessary part of the process of being alive and on this planet - a part which I seem to be so happy avoiding as of late.

This blog is my attempt to take the next step in my soul searching.  It's public, I suppose, because I need to be heard.  And you'll read it, I suppose, because in the end, we're all soul searching and want to know that we're not the only crazy soul-searchers out there.

As far as the title of the blog, it is the first thought that comes to my mind when I think about the place I am in my life right now.  This phrase was true when my mother told me oh so long ago.  It was true when her mother told her and when her mother's mother told her before that.

And every day of my life for the rest of my life, it will be true.  No matter how much soul-searching you and I do and no matter what it is we discover in that search, it will always be the things we already have, the things we did absolutely nothing to earn, that are the best things.