Colossians 3:23-24 - "Whatever may be your task, work at it heartily, from the soul, as something done for the Lord and not for men, knowing with all certainty that it is from the Lord and not from men that you will receive the inheritance, which is your real reward. The One Whom you are actually serving is the Lord Christ."
If you're anything like me, you might have what I like to call the Italian Mama Guilt Complex.
Here's how it works:
You serve, serve, serve, serve because you love to serve. This love of service is truly genuine, something in which you exult. You love to see people happy, so you tune into what you know makes them happy, keeping a mental check list of each and every thing for each and every person in your life. And then whenever an opportunity arises, you jump at the chance to provide that thing for them, whatever it may be. Because you love it. Right?
This goes on and on, and then, after a certain period of time (This could last anywhere from one day to ten years, depending on your disposition at the time.), you start to feel under appreciated. People begin to stop thanking you or even noticing your tireless and genuinely-motivated labor. You push on as you did before because you value loyalty and consistency even more than you value service.
And then, it happens. You snap. You begin to resent the people you once loved serving. Oh, you continue to serve (read above paragraph), but it no longer brings you joy. It is your main source of frustration and the theme around which each and every pity party you throw for yourself revolves. You find yourself lashing out on the people you love most because they don't value what you do nearly as much as you do.
Cue the guilt. A feeling of guilt within for not being good enough to make everyone happy, which you then gladly and liberally spew onto those who are not nearly as impressed with you as you are with yourself.
And by you, of course, I mean me.
The irony of Italian Mama Guilt Complex is that I'm fairly certain I've had it since I was 5 or 6 years old. I fluttered to and fro on my nimble and almost-newly born feet, smiling and twirling and entertaining and pleasing. And I loved it.
Twenty years later on feet not-so-nimble and not-so-new...yeah, not-so-much.
Why spill my guts and reveal to you what is probably the most shameful and embarrassing addiction in my life?
Because I had this amazing revelation today.
If I don't need anyone's approval, then I'm free to serve (or whatever other action or lack of action you'd like to insert here) without getting tired of it!
OK, so not an amazing revelation by the usual standard of the word revelation, but to my recently complex-wearied soul, it brought me relief like I have not felt in a very long time.
The truth of the matter is that God approves of me. All the time. Period. End of story. I am never a disappointment or a surprise to Him. Ever.
With this permanent stamp of approval, I am free to love and to serve and to cook and to clean and to work and to sing and to play and to be silent and to be loud and to be stupid and to be brilliant and to be awesome and to really suck and to go to Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday and back again without ever having to consider one time whether or not anyone is happy with me or not.
Wow. Fabulous.
I can do everything, from the most mundane to the most magnificent, as if I were doing it solely for Jesus and know that from the beginning to the end, He is pleased.
I can serve you without you ever noticing and still be completely satisfied at the end.
This is definitely a win, win (win) situation.
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