What If I Surrender?

When I say, "I surrender," it immediately demands that I must give up the right to say, "What if?"

We use the words, "What if?" in many different capacities. The phrase is a weapon to ward off our need to be obedient; it is a balm to pacify that nagging thought to step out into the unknown; it is a murderer of hopes and dreams and destiny. The desire to utter those two small, devastating words will remain within us, of course, but the right to speak them aloud or to dwell on them is relinquished with the word "surrender."

The word "surrender" is the most painful word a man can release from his lips. The mechanics of forming words are quite simple, but the heart to speak them truthfully with intent to act upon them is not so easy a task. The word "surrender" is painful because the heart required to speak it with truth and action in mind is a broken heart.

Now, I use the phrase "broken heart" in a different manner than the usual picture it creates. A man who has the heart of surrender is not a blubbering, pathetic, barely tolerable mess of a man, though seasons of being such is mandatory to master the heart of surrender. A man with the heart of surrender is rather a man who has broken away from being obedient to fear, rejection, doubt, shame, laziness, excuses, and the like.

Brokenness is the end of obedience to man-pleasing and self-pleasing. It is the beginning of obedience to the resounding whisper of our Father.

A truly broken heart has surrendered one type of obedience - the one which comes to us naturally - for an obedience of a different sort - the sort of obedience which is learned and has nothing to do with instinct. This is the obedience which leads to a most beautiful satisfaction.

Surrender's broken heart is not a debilitating, emotional state of mind. It is a heart which has stolen itself away from the natural order of the world, hiding itself in an order which makes no sense to man. The heart of surrender has found its hiding place in trusting the Father when He doesn't make sense (which is most of the time, by the way).

A surrendered heart has found its refuge in knowing that nothing in the universe, seen or unseen, can ever render God a liar.