disclaimer: i am female. i will talk about all things female whenever i please because, as previously stated, i am female. if the simple facts of femaleness make you uncomfortable, you probably shouldn't read this.
yesterday, while on my way to work, i got that feeling. not that feeling according to most males, as in that-feeling-i -need-sexual-healing (but thanks, anyway, marvin). the feeling which occurred was the strictly female feeling that we get only when we are celebrating the very fact that we are indeed women. once a month, God built our bodies to throw us a party, just in case we ever forget the joys of womanhood and take it for granted.
as stated before, i was on my way to work when that feeling occurred, and i was totally unprepared (taking my womanhood for granted, obviously). so i stopped by my local grocery store to pick up a few party favors for my celebrate-womanhood-fiesta-extravaganza. (yes, that is the technical term for it. don't let those quacks tell you otherwise.)
i ran into the store, got what i needed to celebrate, and then ran quickly back out. yes, i paid. at least i think i paid. when one's body is throwing a party, it's hard to keep track of things.
i was almost to my car, party favors in tow might i add, when i heard this awful ruckus coming from a car driving past me. as any human being would do, i looked back to assess the situation. it could have been some crazy person swerving my way or a meteorite crashing into the safeway. curiosity didn't kill the cat. it saved the poor bastard. or at least gave meaning to its death.
curiosity delivered - the ruckus was coming from a white sedan not cool enough for its make or model to be noteworthy. the man in this nameless car had shoved his head completely out of his window, whistling and hollering. as soon as i realized that i was the cause for his causing a ruckus, i glanced down at my bag of party favors, thanked God for irony, laughed, and kept walking.
apparently laughing at someone is a turn on because the guy came back.
by this time, i was in my car, attempting to back out of my parking space, but white sedan hoop and holler man was blocking me. he backed up, signaled for me to continue backing out (as if he were doing something polite), and then pulled up next to me as i straightened my car out.
now, i barely have patience for this sort of behavior on days where i've totally taken my womanhood for granted. but on the first day of my week long celebrate-womanhood-fiesta-extravaganza...well, the only thing i have time to do is party. so it's safe to say my patience was non-existent.
he rolled his window down. i rolled mine down. sainthood is mine.
he said something clever like, "what's your name?"
i answered, "sara." equally clever if i do say so myself. then i said, "there's someone behind you. you should move."
he said, "oh ok. wait here. i'll come back around."
i laughed again. i couldn't help it.
thankfully, i didn't stick around long enough to find out if laughing at him really did turn him on. but i was glad that someone was ready to celebrate my womanhood with me. way to go, white sedan hoop and holler man. i am the party, and the party don't stop. (actually, it does. thank God.)
No comments:
Post a Comment